fyi..it is cruel and unusual punishment to be locked inside such a soul sucking office when it is 75,sunny and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. gerrr
to quote a line from carbon leaf, i feel like, “a toddler with a complex toy”.
grills, dvd players, iphones, cars, even toddler toys… all come with instruction manuals.
marriage however, does not.
to some degree even babies come with manuals because for 9 months one gets to prepare for their arrival with countless baby blogs, mommy to be groups, baby in utero yoga, organic carrot making classes and books, books and more books. for 9 months the “how the hell do i take care of this creature without killing it, or at the very least scarring it for life when it pops out and is dropped screaming into my arms” is read about and talked about ad nauseam. the only thing wedding related that is discussed ad nauseam is…the wedding. this makes for a very scary moment when the marriage creature is dropped wriggling and screaming into your arms the morning after the wedding demanding "feed me" and you think to yourself, “what the F*&K do I do now”.
i’d love to have $1 (or better yet a gun…ok, the finger kind??) for every time in the last 40 days i’ve been asked …”so how is married life? is it any different?”. come on people. this asinine question seems to fly, like verbal diarrhea out of the mouths of not only friends but also… random acquaintances.
um….hell yeah it does. i’ve just had a crying, hungry, pooping, needy, fledgling marriage dropped in my lap. where’s my manuuuuualll? wawwww.
but let’s not be totally egocentric…for just one sec let’s forget about how I feel…has anyone thought to ask how our marriage baby feels? it just got dropped down the chimney of two guardians who for all their schooling and good intentions really, truly don’t have a freaking clue how to keep it alive much less healthy. ok, to our credit I think mr c and I did a pretty darn good job discussing the idea of marriage before we jumped. we discussed what it would take to make a good one, things we wanted to avoid so it wouldn't be a bad one. we even went so far as to write up an extensive list of “marriage principals” (pat pat on the back), heck we even wrote our own vows with the deliberate intention (good mr c counselor speak) to create a marriage “contract” that reflected us and our thoughts on the institution.
but what do we really know?? all the stuff we talked about was just a guesstimate. a hope. the adult version of closing your eyes, holding your breath and blowing the eyelash off your fingertip....wishing it into fruition. wishing that your marriage baby will not just last but also thrive for the next 50 + years.
well…little marriage baby, of this I am certain…your parents love you and…you have fabulous daddy. he is honest and truthful, he challenges me daily and makes me a stronger person. he brings me coffee in the morning and leaves notes like “hello hotness” on the door to greet me when i come home. and he will work to take care of you, to make sure you are fed and changed, happy and healthy. and even though i might be a little nervous of our new found marriagehood (normal right?)…you won’t find a more dedicated and loving mom.
so poop on little marriage baby. we can handle whatever you throw at us. we were there for your birth and for your first few weeks and we’ll be there through all your growing pains and triumphs. and one day when you’re old and grown we’ll sit back and reminisce about the days when you were young and we were naïve and we decided to drive the drive the marriage bus without a license...
mrs momma m