whispering goodbye

some spirit for your sunday

~song for autumn~

in the deep fall

don't you imagine the leaves think how

comfortable it will be to touch

the earth instead of the

nothingness of air and the endless

freshets of wind?

and don't you think

the trees themselves, especially those with mossy,

warm caves, begin to think

of the birds that will come — six, a dozen — to sleep

inside their bodies? and don't you hear

the goldenrod whispering goodbye,

the everlasting being crowned with the first

tuffets of snow?

the pond

vanishes, and the white field over which

the fox runs so quickly brings out

its blue shadows. and the wind pumps its

bellows. and at evening especially,

the piled firewood shifts a little,

longing to be on its way.
~ mary oliver

mrs m

tree magic found here

a laugh a day.....

needed a good laugh today and darn if this didn't do the trick ;)

m

spirit sunday: 3's

via naturally nina

a poem for the heart

let your love flow outward through the universe,

to its height, its depth, its broad extent,

a limitless love, without hatred or enmity.

then as you stand or walk,

sit or lie down,

as long as you are awake,

strive for this with a one-pointed mind;

your life will bring heaven to earth.

~ sutta nipata

an idea for the mind

a song for the soul

happy sunday!

xoxo ~ mrs m

3 - 2 - 1.....

do you remember a moment (getting your diploma, landing your first job, conquering an old fear), when you were filled with such a sense of wonder at your own limitless potential that it literally had you floating just above the ground?

tethered to reality with the barest wisp of a doubt you struck out on the adventure called your life.
and you did things….
moved to new cities
tried new foods
made friends with strangers.
you traveled, danced, kissed, put yourself out there.

and you did it all because there it was...burning inside your chest…undeniable.

the feeling that you could light the world on fire…

and then you had your heart broken, got sucked into a job you didn’t like, parted ways with friends you thought you’d always have and one day you thought...

wtf?

thank the good universe for new year’s.

they are every woman’s equivalent of a catholic’s confessional induced clean slate.

i am completely dithyrambic about new beginnings. that is why i love january 1st. each year we wind up december as beaten down versions of our previous january selves… but no matter how many mistakes we made…each new year we have the unbelievably gracious opportunity to…try and make it “right” again.  each day we can work harder, give boldly, love more, judge less, laugh louder, hug harder, act sillier, and do more of those thing we yearn to do.
we can cultivate that feeling of limitless potential and we can live it.

via crush party

mr c and i said a fond goodbye to 2010 with a new years eve yoga class and loads of champagne.

just the two of us
mr + mrs
and it was amazing.

there are many things about 2010 that i will take with me and cherish, our wedding being one of them…but in the first hours of 2011, i find myself once again looking forward and filled with excitement at being able to create a new path for my mrs and ms selves

 a few of my thoughts for the new year.....

• speak my mind more in the office and after 2 years of hard work....finally launch our fund!
• yoga + meditate - "the reason we enter into meditation is because we have an inner hunger.  we feel that within us there is something luminous, something vast, something divine." ~ sri chinmoy
• be deliberate in thoughts and action
• eat more fruits and veggies and much less meat!
• cultivate new friends and stay close to old ones
• take a class just because i'm interested in the subject
• read finish books
• spread love
• work on being the best wife i can be
• journal
• get involved
• and start thinking about ......

happy new year...the best really is yet to come!

~ mrs m

a lump in the throat

have you ever started thinking about something….i mean really mulling over some new idea or thought and once it finally takes root you find yourself at odd moments, rolling it around on your tongue like a chocolate or trying it on like a new pair of shoes, stealing glimpses of you and it, together, in the mirror….

all the while attempting to figure out where and if it fits into your life and how and where to learn more about it...

then wham…

all of a sudden it’s like the universe hears you….

and the days become rich with fecund moments and signs?

suddenly everything seems to be nudging you in some new direction.
it's on a flyer you see by "mistake"
it comes up in a "random" conversation with a stranger

yesterday i heard it in a passage by robert frost. 

“a poem...begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. it is a reaching-out toward expression; an effort to find fulfillment. a complete poem is one where an emotion finds the thought and the thought finds the words.”

and i thought to myself, “damn that frost guy is good.”

and then the fissure in my mind split a bit wider

and the little beam of light got a bit brighter….

and the lump in my throat….

got ever so slightly bigger.

and i got a little closer.

but sometimes closer just isn’t good enough. sometimes i want to be there already. i want the thoughts to have already found the words….

i want to live the poem.

and when i start to feel that way, when i start to get anxious and wonder if it will ever come to fruition, i have to tell myself shante (peace)

… i have to try to let go…..

"emotion finds the thought and the thought finds the words"

and the poem...is somewhere, somehow....just beyond the next mountain.

shante,shante a million times shante ~ mrs. m

spirit sunday: 4 little agreements

sometimes being my best me self can be hard. 

but whyyyy at times, does it have to be soooo dang difficult?? 

i might not have control over others but surely i can control myself.  well last week i was a little overwhelmed and definitely not my tippy top best ..so yesterday i took out don miguel ruiz's book on toltec wisdom and was reminded that four simple agreements have the ability to help me be a better me.

just 4 little things...surely i can do 4 things. 

(1) BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS.

speak with integrity. say only what you mean. avoid the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

(2) DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.

nothing others do is because of you. what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

(3) DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.

find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. with just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

(4) ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.

your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. under any circumstances, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

a little ruiz background:

the four agreements comes from the ancient toltec wisdom of the native people of southern mexico. the toltec were 'people of knowledge' - scientists and artists who created a society to explore and conserve the traditional spiritual knowledge and practices of their ancestors. the toltec viewed science and spirit as part of the same entity, believing that all energy - material or ethereal - is derived from and governed by the universe. don miguel ruiz, born and raised in rural mexico, was brought up to follow his family's toltec ways by his mother, a toltec faith healer, and grandfather, a toltec 'nagual', a shaman. despite this, miguel decided to pursue a conventional education, which led him to qualify and practice for several years as a surgeon. following a car crash, miguel reverted to his toltec roots during the late 1970's, first studying and learning in depth the toltec ways, and then healing, teaching, lecturing and writing during the 1980's and 90's. he wrote the four agreements in 1997.

namaste ~ mrs m

the great explor(er)

"The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church." ~ Ferdinand Magellan

nyc in the background

this past weekend mr c and i put down our paint brushes and drove a surprisingly short 1.45 to nyc where we met our friends anton and kendall for a weekend sail up the hudson on the 42’ blue mingo.

there truly is nothing like nyc. the constant barrage of noises and smells, the ethnicity's, the 60 yr old + german waitress at nicks with the army hat, purple flower stockings and heels who called us “my lovies” and refused to get me a coke refill because it seems nick has to charge for refills and she was sure i couldn’t possibly pay another .75 cents for more coke. this was pretty annoying seeing as i had been up since 1:30 am stupidvising the return of mingo in the middle of a rain storm, was soaking wet, 2 days un-showered and was still trying to rid friday nights hangover of epic proportions.....

no, i am not tipsy.  yes i will have another.

all i wanted was another coke. but nein!! no refill. in her defense, i probably looked like a dime store hooker with a dollar to my name (so evidently not a very good hooker) therefore in hindsight, her refill refusal was pretty thoughtful as she did save me a large part of my dollar and brought me a free water instead.

not as tipsy....but not too far behind either ;)

anywhoo…..back to nyc….as i was saying, nothing like it. the mass-concrete jungle of it all… 10 million very unique individuals crammed asses to elbows on an island 22.7 sq miles and purchased for the equivalent of $24 worth of beads and mirrors. contrast this pulsing energy and vast skyline with what you find when one sails a mere 10 miles north on the hudson river….craggy cliffs, miles of forest and…believe it or not… gently chirping cicadas....and one can't help but be amazed!

2010............1610

so i couldn’t help but think as we anchored….just what it was like in 1609 when ole henry made his famous sail. who was more fearful…the men on the ship who had no idea just who or what (think "lost" black vapor and non arctic polar bears) lay over those hills or the indians as they sat hiding among the trees looking down on one damn big vessel and the strange, pale, bearded, men they saw before them. and then i wondered at the primal thrill of discovering something so vast, mysterious and wild that all the bitty hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you are one big raw nerve of excitement. 

and then my thoughts spiraled to the pessimistic and i started feeling shameful for us humans.  it seems that once beauty is discovered our natural tendency is to destroy it all...ironically, under the guise of “discovery”.

purchase of manhattan

here in 2010, all the trade routes have been discovered, all the mountains scaled and most lands explored. rivers have been charted and ocean floors mapped. the stars have been named and elements understood….things have been boiled down, dissected, discussed and debated till it feels as if there is very little left out there to truly discover. perhaps that is why spirituality is so fascinating and self exploration so intense…in a world where most frontiers have been conquered….those are our new worlds. being a magellan of self and spirit can afford us an internal glimpse of that external adventure, a little of that fear, and a touch of that unfathomable grace that hudson and his fellow trail blazers were so very lucky to encounter around each and every corner...

thanks k & a

xoxo- mrs m

ahh crap

yesterday morning i work up and felt a little like this…

no particular reason other than i hadn’t pooped in about 4 days. kind of a crappy story, so I won’t bore you. get it…. crappy. har, har. snort.

anwhooo. i wasn’t feeling too spiritual on my sunday. so in light of my decidedly non spiritual vibe and my ongoing poo issues i’m late on my post. yep, yesterday i didn't even attempt to find my spirit…instead today, i am going to share the greatest poo blog of all times and hope that by embracing my phobia/neurosis of restroom related activities...i might make friends with it and all will eventually be well in poodome.

from my favorite petunia  http://petuniafacedgirl.blogspot.com/2008/09/open-letter-to-lady-with-turquoise.html .   one thing though petunia face….as offensive as your coworkers lack of b-room etiquiutte is don’t be so damn cute and assume you corner the market on office stall faux pas….in my office we have our own version of the turquoise sandal lady except ours wears shoes that squeak when she walks and she talks to herself in the stall.

oh and this….this too made me a feel a little bit better on sunday....from the great hyperbole and a half (the kitty tush above is also H and 1/2)....i just found her and she rocks.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/how-fish-almost-destroyed-my-childhood.html

meows & fish kisses ~ mrs m

our community brought us some communitas

i have a hate/love relationship with richmond.

but hey...its spirit sunday, and yes, i recognize hate is not very spiritie so i’m gonna start with the "bad" first so we can end on a positive…

          hate:

1. it's small

2. it’s conservative

3. women actually wear laura ashley and carry vera bradley…yes, sometimes together

4. men dip, hold their pants up with confederate flag belts and like to shoot shit

5. when asked where you went to school..they generally mean which of 3 area prep schools (hint: just take a lil peekie at the bumper sticker on moms ole range rover)

6. you know you’re from richmond if you went to college within 100 miles of the city and so did your dad…oh and your uncle and your older brother too. hey, it’s the south and nepotism is cool….being male and loving another male however…is not

7. bob mcdonnell is governor

         

          love:

1. close to dc, mountains, beach
2. no traffic
3. spring is gorgeous
4. reasonable cost of living
5. glory cobblestone house
6. don’t have to take a plane to see the rents
7. coolest neighborhood in the city
8. did I mention our cute house…
9. uu
10. the bay and sailing
11. community…communitas

“community” can wear a lot of hats.

friend hats, family hats. neighborhood and associations hats, churches hats, self help, book club, suppa club, mommy morning out and tea parties hats. even swing party hats…or maybe thongs? but it’s when community morphs into communitas that you have yourself a home.

community brings us together. communitas connects us. community keeps us interested. communitas keeps us honest. community is the place. communitas is the root.

all great and community based at the local park

this weekend mr c and i were all about community. friday we supported ummm, wine makers and some local hangouts. saturday we went to the southside farmers market, worked in the yard, went back to support the rededication of a local park and regatta (even watched our neighbors kids) , and then went to a yummy suppa club with my peeps. and sunday we got to know our fun neighbors over cheese and white wine spritzers. and somewhere between spritzer 2 and spritizer 3 I started getting a warm and fuzzy and realized that what mr c and i had here was more than just a great local community….we in fact, had started finding our own little communitas.

mrs m

ps in case you need a refresher:

wikipedia says: community is a group of interacting organisms (or different species) sharing an environment. in human communities, intent, belief, resources, preferences, needs, risks, and a number of other conditions may be present and common, affecting the identity of the participants and their degree of cohesiveness. there were ninety-four definitions of the term by the mid-1950s.1]Traditionally a "community" has been defined as a group of interacting people living in a common location.

communitas is a Latin noun referring either to an unstructured community in which people are equal, or to the very spirit of community. communitas is an intense community spirit, the feeling of great social equality, solidarity, and togetherness. communitas is an acute point of community. it takes community to the next level and allows the whole of the community to share a common experience.

spirit sunday: my religion

in your light i learn how to love.

in your beauty, how to make poems.

you dance inside my chest,

where no one sees you,

but sometimes i do,

and that sight becomes art.

~ rumi

rumi...he's kind of my religion

the ability to say so much so succinctly. ..leaves me mystified and awed.  i sat with those words for awhile as i started at the bay and wondered; to what or to whom he was referring when he says "your light" and "your beauty"? 

the universe, nature, a lover...something else completely? 

i adore this poem precisely because all three answers are correct.  i am fascinated by it because it makes me consider another possibility.   i am struck by it because it inspires me to be open to whatever unexplainable thing evokes such passion in another.  it is inside works like these...that i find my spirit on a sunday...

m

spirit sunday: kindfully + mindfully

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” - Dalai Lama

why is it sometimes so darn hard to be kind? i’m not talking about being outright rude…thankfully that kind of blatant adolescent bitchiness is rare and tends to rear its ugly head on only the most hideous of bad hair days… i’m talking about being so kind that you eliminate the little jab here, the tiny sarcastic comment there…the unwarranted, undeserved (albeit mental) criticism of the girl at the gym whose mere presence on the bike next to you is annoying (but….she does breath funny…) or even the warranted and deserved mental flogging of your hygiene inept coworker who sprinkles when they tinkle and is never neat and wipes the seat…but perhaps most puzzling to me is the human tendency to be less kind to those closest to us. I could mull this one for days, instead I am going to take to heart a zen habits http://zenhabits.net/kindfully/ that I think is particularly powerful:

“Here’s something beautiful: by treating others with kindness, you will create a happy feeling within yourself, effectively creating a positive feedback loop for your mindfulness. This will encourage you to be more mindful throughout your day, which will help you to treat others with yet more kindness, and so on.

Mindfulness and kindfulness feed on each other in a wonderful cycle.”

so give it a shot…be mindful…be kind….see what happens if you spread love everywhere you go. who knows.....you might just get it back 2 fold and if not…well, you can kiss my %*$.

also...a shout out to my mom...happy monthers day, i love you & you rock!!

buttery luv -
m

spirit sunday: spring connection

may.  may day.  spring, birth, renewal.  hope and new beginnings.

yesterday the mr and i walked to the farmers market and i was, in a word...elated. i was thrilled with the hot richmond morning, the fresh, crisp purple and white beets stacked row upon row next to lush heads of vibrant green lettuce  which were tucked next to spring onions the size of walnuts.  fledgling tomato plants,  nate serving spicy tacos from his rusty, silver taco truck, fresh eggs all shapes and variation of brown and dogs as different and unique as the humans walking them...they all made me smile.  ice coffee from blanchards , groovy young moms with babies in colorful slings, awfully delightful neighborhood bluegrass singers and the man whose hand i held... all made me feel lucky to be alive.  what a simple pleasure it was to be there among all those other individuals also enjoying something as simple and powerful as the beginning of spring...and perhaps feeling that they too were a little more ..connected.

i wondered....to what did i owe that feeling?  that gratitude?

today at the UU church (or spirit class as i like to call it) the mr and i attend....we took part in our first Beltane service and honored the earth with the planting of wildflower seeds we had blessed with positive thoughts and energy.  and for a moment as the leaders of the service raised their hands to the four corners of the earth....i almost giggled with uncomfortable nervousness and wondered....if it wasn't in fact a little too "earth centered" even for me me....

and then in a flash i had a vision of me all preggers in the back yard, mr and i bending over our koi pond...and with como kitty and roughly 12 koi as witness...mr sprinkles my tummy with water and sends up a little prayer of thanks and hope...to new beginnings.  i don't know exactly what that vision is supposed to tell me...but i'm going to take it as a reminder that there is so much out there greater than ourselves.  from our koi to our coffee, our beets to our babies...no matter who we praise or how we celebrate, we are indeed....all connected.

nighty nite-
mrs m