bon vivant tues: operation bush kill

before the attack
how to make a house a home

step 1: undertake a task that causes your husband to ask, “are you sure you know what you’re undertaking?”

step 2: say with ever so slight role of the eyes, “duh, yes”.
having in actuality, no idea whether or not you really know the answer to that question

step 3: get bottle of plant killer random lowes representative assures you is closest legal thing to agent orange in an attempt to eradicate all trace of bush/ivy/bamboo

step 4: find out bush/bamboo/ivy are in fact your enemies and resistant to even ultimate plant death juice

step 5: scrap juice and attack with clippers, saws and brute strength (yeah mr c!!). manage to cut back horrendous, buggy, offensive, nameless bush/ivy/bamboo, only to find...... the fence is uglier than all three combined

during seige
step 6: see husbands expression and wonder, "how did this happen?"

step 7: think back to step 1

step 8: "shit"

step 9: contemplate ways to get husband to take care of the problem without pointing out he was right and without you having to say you were wrong.

step 10: realize glory husband is in counseling, foresaw this outcome and has solution!!

step 11: bring husband greenie (aka heineken) as liquid olive branch for step 2 and kisses of thanks for still undertaking operation bush/ivy/bamboo despite mrs denial

after mr c and i got ahold of it
step 12: stoop it (pa term for boozing on the porch with the neighbors) on freshie porch a couple of days later, admiring lack of bush/ivy/bamboo and of course...... awesome, hottie husband

tonight in homage to mr c....

spaghetti with pesto, cashew nuts and parmesan (+ some tofu to spice it up)


thankful kisses - mrs m

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