spring has sprung

and bird chirping weather makes me happy

spring makes me want to unlock all i've kept pent up over the dark days of winter

 it makes me want to nest and take flight all at the same time

it tempts me to don dresses the color of sunsets

and feast like a wild gypsy under the starlit sky

it makes me feel girly and fresh

and begs me to play hookie

it brings out my inner child and reminds me that

are the BEST kinds of toes and kisses in the world.

happy spring loves!

~mrs m

out of africa

this planet is flippin fantastic.

from the oceans and their deep, dark blues to the mountains and their lush vibrant greens, from people with skin of ebony and ivory, to animals with spots and stripes, from warm sun to cool rain and everything in between....the wild, crazy, beautiful, diversity surrounding us every moment
 is astounding. 
i sometimes fear if i dwell on it for too long...i might go mad trying to wrap my lil pea brain around the connectedness of it all. 
i sometimes think my heart will burst with happiness one moment and just as quickly am afraid it will crack wide open with sadness.

one god....no god....whatever or whomever you believe

you can't deny

there is something powerful at work

if i told you i had a life changing experience, would you believe me?  
yeah, i'm not sure i would either.   
but 3 weeks ago i went to south africa.  
and there the undeniable, irrevocable, elixir that is travel began to work its magic. 

here's the thing about travel and getting out of your comfort zone, about crossing time zones and boarders and journeying to far flung places...
you can't honestly open yourself up to the potential strangeness of it all and continue to think the same way you've always thought. 
you can't accept the hospitality of a stranger and not want to know their story. 

you can't walk into a classroom and not care about the children. 
you can't read about a place like Soweto and actually meet someone from there and not come away fascinated by the human spirit. 

and you can't come face to face with a leopard and not be changed. 

our first night out on safari at sabi sabi we saw a rhino and an elephant and the most glorious african sunset and as if that proliferation of power and beauty wasn't enough to drop you to your knees...
we rounded a corner and there in the fading twilight were 11 lioness draped across a boulder like diamonds on velvet....

only a gazillion times more stunning.

after having listened to our ranger zwai talk earlier in the day about the daunting battle these majestic animals face, it's not surprising i suppose, that i reached up to brush away tears. looking at them lying there as they have for millions of years i started to understand the collision of past, present and future that they talk about at sabi sabi.

i wish i could convey to you the absolute awesomeness of the experience.  
i wish i could pull you inside my chest so you could feel the tug firsthand. 
i wish i could find the words that would infuse you with the elation of walking up to a giraffe and watching his curious, quizzical face stare back. 
i wish you could feel your breath catch in your throat at the tangible energy of a rhino pawing at the earth, feet from where you sit. 
i wish you could have felt the sense of awe so powerful your soul literally wanted to bow in honor to the supreme goodness of it all. 
i wish you could have heard our ranger from swato talk about connectedness and balance 
and i wish your heart would also have been flooded by that truth. 


and seconds later on the heels of that revelation, 
i wish you could have felt the intense sense of shame being human sometimes brings with it.

but most of all i wish you could have felt the intense sense of responsibility to make a difference. 

i've always admired but never fully understood people like jane goodall and alan rabinowitz and the like.  individuals who spend their lives giving voices to peoples and species who have none 


but in an instant i understood and if i were a braver person i would like to spend my time doing the same so that one day my children could also be changed by experience. 

and so as i write i am bound by a feverish fear and frustration that while reading this you might for a second think wow....
and then go about your day
unchanged. 


but while words can be rendered ineffective...therein lies the intrinsic magic of travel.  
you have to experience it firsthand to be changed.

this planet is flippin fantastic.  

get out and see it. 

xoxo ~ mrs m
ps maybe some things really do happen for a reason :)


pps pics from pinterest, sabi sabi and for any info about a trip to south africa walthers dmc is out of this world 

eye, i captain

har har

snort

seriously though.

a little spiritual levity for a sunday...

 kisses m

lemons

or in this case, a month

lots has happened in the first 31 days of the new year.

i was preggers 

(que smiles, excitement and 

a sharp uptick in semi obsessive what's happening today baby websites )

i was not preggers 

(que depressing music, ER visits, cookies and lots and lots of tv)

my evil co-worker quit 

(que applause, high fives and non toxic work environment)

i am now doing the work of three people 

(que days spent eating lunch at my desk or not eating at all)

i was still preggers but not really preggers 

(que the confusion, que the methotrexate...que the emotions and the cramps and the mouth sores

....que feeling like a failure and feeling this whole preggers process has just really really sucked)

i found out that in the next three months i am going to 

florida, south africa (yeah, you read that right), chicago, riviera maya, 

puerta vallarta and montreal 

(que bikinis, planes, malaria shots and safaris,
exotic foods and even more exotic animals
and places and things i probably couldn't have done had i been preggers

que the start of a smile)

bad things happen....
and when they do
people feed us that cough, cough bullshit line that la-la-la
everything happens for a reason 

and then perhaps something actually happens...

and no matter what it is we go all reflective, quasi contemplative. 

we pump it up, we throw glitter on it, 

we talk about it and we dramatize it until it has become

..... that reason. 

and just like that,

 ah ha!...our failure, our loss, our hurt is vindicated!!

but somewhere deep inside...
we know that's really bullshit too.  

we really just wanted the other thing, the thing that didn't happen.  

the thing that didn't work out ...

but when faced with the alternative
what can ya do but throw on your travelin shoes
and say...

it all happens for a reason

xoxo - m

bye bye birdie

i sat down on january 2 and ended my post with a wish and a hope that 

2012 would bring us a little mr and mrs c.

i awoke on the 3rd and magically, my wish had been granted.

january 13 you left as silently and as quickly as you came.

i might have only known you for 10 days but that didn't diminish the fact that

....i had fallen in love.

today we release you lil sprout 

and send you off with blessings of peace

and thanks for your short time with us.

xoxo

~ your mom 

bring it

is totally going to kick ass

i can just feel it 

first of all it started out with a bang!

a night of riotous laughter,

fabulous friends,

decadent food, delicious drinks 

and a dance party that didn't die until long after the roaring fire 

had gobbled up wisps of paper scribbled with the wants, wishes and desires 

of 10 lovers of life for the new year. 

but today, 

with the last remnants of the 2011 swept neatly into piles and out the door

i am slowly waking from a contemplative state of of anamnesis 

and am focused on tomorrow.

for the next 363 days i will strive to.....

cultivate my own inner adytum

i will choose to 

i will set my intentions each evening and remember that

i will acknowledge that only i can control how i feel and that while

 i will engage the people and the places around me and know that

i will passionately 

i will find new ways to play and laugh and love and grow with mr c

and i will revel in our third year of marriage

 i will look forward to the day when our new nest is ready to call home

and i will keep fingers and toes crossed that one day in the not too distant future 

we'll be able to fill those empty rooms with love and little

an ambitious list of wants, no doubt,

but i really do think this is going to be

the best year yet.

xoxo ~ mrs & ms m